Weddings of the World – 12 Part Mini Series: Sikh Wedding Traditions

As you know little by little here on the blog we have been giving you glimpses of Weddings of the World. Our first stop was Tibet, our second was the Hindu traditions of India. And today we look at Sikh Wedding Traditions.

 

 

Kumari (Engagement Ceremony)

 

Kumari is usually conducted in the Gurdwara or at the home of the groom. It involves Ardas (the common Sikh prayer), Kirtan (hymns from Sri Guru Granth Sahib) and langar if performed in the Gurdwara. If performed at home, the bride’s family visit the house of the groom for a short time. In both cases the groom is usually presented a Kara (steel iron bracelet), kirpan (ceremonial sword or dagger) or Indian sweets. The bride’s family in turn are presented with an Indian suit and sweets for the bride.

Arrival at the Gurdwara

Old Sikh traditions have the groom arrive by horseback for the meeting of the families. The groom approaches the Gurdwara. In the Gurdwara parking lot the groom mounts his horse. The bride's family and friends await the arrival of the groom. The ragis perform kirtan as the two families meet. The Braat approach the bride’s family outside the Gurdwara

Anand Karaj – A Union of two Souls

The Sikh marriage ceremony is also known as Anand Karaj meaning “blissful union”. Symbolizing a holy union, the marriage ceremony marks the beginning of the young couple’s family life. Family life is a means for spiritual growth. It serves as a training ground for man and woman to practice divine love through human love, patience, consideration of others, forgiveness, respect, kindness, and self control. These spiritual qualities, when developed, contribute towards a happy marriage and accelerate spiritual progress.

The spiritual aspect helps couples recognize that marriage is a permanent lifetime relationship. The bride and groom vow to love each other, to have a family, and to fulfil all of their dharmas (duties and obligations) pertaining to the family and to society.

Milni (Greeting the Party)

As soon as the bridegroom, and the two families are assembled the Milni is performed, which involves the meeting of the parents and close relatives of the bride and groom and exchange of presents. A simple ceremony takes place and both families exchange well wishes on meeting each other. This is followed by light snacks and tea before the religious ceremony begins. The marriage ceremony is conducted in a Gurdwara. A priest or any Sikh (man or woman) may conduct the ceremony, and usually a respected and learned person is chosen.

Appropriate hymns for the occasion are sung while family, friend, guests, and the groom arrives.

 

The Ceremony

Men and women sit on opposite sides of the Gurdwara hall at equal distances from Sri Guru Granth Sahib. Non Sikh male and female visitors and guests can usually sit together if they wish.
The groom and his parents enter and he presents a cash offering, as well as a rumala, a new silk covering for Sri Guru Granth Sahib. The granthi (caretaker of the Granth Sahib) sits in attendance of Sri Guru Granth Sahib, which is covered when not being read.

The groom is first seated before Guru Granth Sahib and when the bride comes she takes her place on his left. The couple and their parents are asked to stand while the rest of the congregation remains seated. A prayer is then conducted invoking God’s blessings for the proposed marriage and asking His Grace on the union of the couple. This connotes the consent of the bride and the bridegroom and their parents. The parties then resume their seats and a short hymn is sung. Upon translation, the hymn would read as follows:

“Call upon God for the task thou wouldst have accomplished, He will bring the tasks to rights, so witnesseth the Guru. In the company of the holy thou shalt rejoice and taste only nectar, Thou are the demolisher of fear, thou are compassionate, O’Lord, Nanak singeth the praises of the Incomputable Lord.”

This is followed by a brief speech addressed particularly to the couple, explaining the significance and obligation of the marriage. The couple is then asked to honour their vows by bowing together before Guru Granth Sahib. Then the bride’s father places one end of the scarf in the groom’s hand, passing it over the shoulder and placing the other end in the bride’s hand. Thus joined, the two will take vows. This is followed by a short hymn.

“Praise and slander have I all ceased to relish, O Nanak, False, I count all other relationship, To the fold Thy fabric am I now affianced.” (Guru Granth Sahib, 963)

Guru Granth Sahib is now opened and the first verse of Lavan is read from it. The same verse is then sung by musicians while the couple slowly encircles Guru Granth Sahib. The groom leads in a clock-wise direction and the bride, holding the scarf, follows as nearly as possible in step. When the couple reaches the front of the Guru Granth Sahib, they both bow together and take their respective seats. The same protocol is repeated for the remainder of the three verses. The four verses of Lavan explain the four styles of love and married life. After translation into English the Lavan quartet or the Sikh epithalamium would read as follows.

First Lavan (Emphasizes the performance of duty to the family and the community)

By the first nuptial circuiting The Lord sheweth ye His Ordinance for the daily duties of wedded life The Scriptures are the Word of the Lord, Learn righteousness, through them, And the Lord will free ye from sin. Hold fast to righteousness, Contemplate the Name of the Lord, Fixing it in your memory as the scriptures have prescribed. Devote yourselves to the Perfect and True Guru. And all your sins shall depart. Fortunate are those whose minds Are imbued with the sweetness of His Name, To them happiness comes without effort; The slave Nanak proclaimeth That in the first circling The marriage rite hath begun.

Second Lavan (Signifies the stage of yearning and love for each other)

By the second circumambulation, Ye are to understand that the Lord Hath caused ye to meet the True Guru, The fear in your hearts has departed; The filth of selfness in your minds is washed away, By having the fear of God and by singing His praises I stand before Him with reverence, The Lord God is the soul of the universe! There is naught that He doth not pervade. Within us and without, there is One God only; In the company of saints Then are heard the songs of rejoicing. The slave Nanak proclaimeth that in the second circling Divine Music is heard.

Third Lavan (Signifies the stage of detachment or Virag)

In the third roundabout, There is a longing for the Lord And detachment from the world. In the company of the saints, by our great good fortune, we encounter the Lord. The Lord is found in His purit, Through His exaltation, through the singing of His hymns. By great good fortune we have risen. In the company of the saints wherein is told the story Of the Ineffable Lord. The Holy Name echoes in the heart: Echoes and absorbs us. We repeat the Name of the Lord, Being blessed by a fortunate destiny Written from of old on our foreheads. The slave Nanak proclaimeth that in the third circling the love of God has been awakened in the heart.

Fourth Lavan (Signifies the final stage of harmony and union in married life during which human love blends into the love for God)

In the fourth walk-around, The mind reaches to knowledge of the Divine And God is innerly grasped: Through the Grace of the Guru We have attained with ease to the Lord; The sweetness of the Beloved Pervades us, body and soul. Dear and pleasing is the Lord to us: Night and day our minds are fixed on Him. By exalting the Lord we have attained the Lord: The fruit our hearts desired; The Beloved has finished His work. The soul, the spouse, delighteth in the Beloved’s Name. Felicitations fill our minds; The Name rings in our hearts: The Lord God is united with His Holy Bride. The heart of the Bride flowers with His Name. The slave Nanak proclaimeth that in the fourth circling we have found the Eternal Lord.

The ceremony is concluded with the customary singing of the six stanzas of the Anand Sahib (Song of Bliss), followed by Ardas (prayer), and Vak (a random reading of a verse from Guru Granth Sahib). The ceremony, which takes about an hour, ends with the serving of Karah Parshad to the congregation. Both parents now congratulate the couple. In many cases guests now follow to present the couple with gifts and cash offerings in their lap. Afterwards everyone is invited to the langar hall for a vegetarian lunch.

Langar

Langar is the term used in the Sikh religion for the free, vegetarian only food served in the Gurdwara and eaten by everyone sitting as equals.

The Sikh practice of Langar was introduced by Guru Nanak, to break elements of the caste system that was prevalent in India during the 13^th and 14^th centuries.

This practice is one of the Three Pillars of Sikhism and symbolized the desire of Sikhs to eradicate hunger. The Sikhs are encouraged to donate ten percent of their wealth, time, or resources to a worthy cause, of which Langar Sewa is one.

At Langar, only vegetarian food is served. This is done to ensure that all people, with whatever dietary restrictions (for example Jains, Jews, Muslims) will feel welcome to eat as equals.

Sources: http://www.sikhs.org/wedding/wed9.html